Bath Outrage!

July 17, 2006

Its happened……

It all started when I wanted to take a bath. So naturally I started up the water- and tweaked the dials to reach the desirable temperature. Everything was according to plan……….until……..my toe touched the water. The water Ladies and Gentlemen, was lukewarm……..*gasps utter from the audience* Yes, yes I know. It was horrid, but the thing that makes it worse, was that I did’nt pay any attention until I had half of my body submerged into the treacherous tepid waters. Thats right! I had half of my body in unenthusiastic, boring, apathetic, unconcerned mediocre water! I was shocked and angry because I really wanted to take a bath. It sucked getting out! I was so cold, because I usually leave the window open in my bathroom for ventillation. Not a good idea, especially when a giant gale of wind blows through and hits me like a solid kick in the nuts. So shivering, I had to seek out my towel, dry myself off and find refuge under my bed covers……

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Soap Story.

July 8, 2006

Prepare yourself for a new one. This blog is going to be quite short I’m sorry. Some of you might have heard this story from me already, but oh well.

So it all started on my trip in Canada. I was in Montreal. My family had a really nice hotel room, with a really nice bathroom. (I love to comment on how bathrooms are so clean, I don’t know why. Don’t invite me to your house unless your prepared for a full audit.)

So I decided to take a shower right away, and critiqe the the power of the showerhead and what not; so that when I got out of the bathroom, I would give the other members of the family the “Hey its awesome” or “What the hell is this; don’t risk it or you will surely die of some god forsaken disease” go-ahead.

To start off, the showerhead itself was SUPER overpowering! I was thrilled! I had no idea that Canadians loved to waste so much water on showering, it was outrageous! The flow was powerful enough that I actually had to lean into the jet of water so that I would not get pushed around by it. Overall it was an awesome experience- but thats not the point of this story.

So the really cool part starts here. A little background- this style shower/tub was fairly deep, I would say about 3 feet at most. It was shaped like a U or a skating half-pipe. As I reached to grab my soap, it slipped out of my hand- slid down the side of the tub- glided all the way to the other side of the tub- shot up ward and was caught again by my other hand. It was the coolest thing that ever happened to me! The soap acted like a skateboarder, so I did’nt even have to reach down to grab it when I dropped it! I was so shocked and amazed by the experience that I sat down in the tub, and thought more about how cool that was. No joke.

-J

My Shower.

July 8, 2006

Before I begin, I would like to give some background. I am 16 years old and I started blogging stories about 1year ago. Here is one from the archives.

I’m sure many of you shower, many of you daily. (If you dont shower daily=black plauge) As for myself, I shower twice a day. Now for most people showers are awesome because they have awesome showerheads. Well I got none of that. Let me fill you in on how much mine sucks.

Tuning the hot and cold water dials on my shower takes some serious skill. Like if your hands are soapy you cant grasp them at all- so if your being scalded by hellish water- your screwed. Not only that you have to calibrate them back and forth to get the water just right. Like for me 1/16 of an inch =1,000 degrees. So its like this, *tweak* “OH JESUS!” I’m pretty sure if you were to hang outside my house at this time you would hear alot of screams eminating from my bathroom.

Then there is the showerhead itself. It lets like absolutely zero water through. It has all the power of an old man peeing. It is THEE worst ever, and it doesent even shoot out that far. So I have to huddle under it, which is very uncomfortable being that I have to crouch under it as the water dribbles out.

I think what my problem is that my showerhead is depressed, and if its not depressed then I dont know what the hell it is but it sure isnt getting me any cleaner. I want one of those showers where they have 5 showerheads on them, and it consumes as much water as possible. I want it to take up so much water there are droughts! News Tonight: “Sadly 1,000 people died today in LA where they could not get enough water. Sources indicate that Jeff’s 10 minute shower was the problem.” I’d be famous…….

-J